Sexual intimacy can either make or break a marriage. It’s an act that’s meant to be enjoyable but when it becomes something no one in the marriage looks forward to, that’s where the problem begins. Sex shouldn’t be an obligation or something that should be done for the sake of just being done.
It should be your heaven on earth.
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So, what are the things that can destroy sexual intimacy in your marriage whether done consciously or inadvertently?
10 Things destroying Sexual Intimacy In Your Marriage
1. Rigidity
Expecting sex to be regimented. Having the mentality of “we have sex this day of the week and no more” or scheduling a “that’s it” calendar for times of sexual intimacy in your marriage will only take out the fun it’s meant to bring.
You could choose to pick out days as a base, but don’t be rigid. When there’s an open window for you both to get down with it, don’t turn it down because of a calendar you drew up.
Not that you give no room for other equally important things in your marriage, but be willing and open to opportunities that arise in your home for moments of sexual intimacy, whenever it comes calling.
2. Checking off The List
This could lead to boring sex or make it a chore. Checking off the list as you go along could make you focus on quantity and not the quality of your sex life.
The truth is, having sex and mutually enjoying it, depends on a number of factors. You could be tired after a long day or it could be that you are just not in the mood.
If you choose to have sex on those days simply because you want to check off that list, you are closing the door to better sex at a better time when you are in the mood or later up to it.
Related: How To Spice Up Your Marriage
3. Waiting on Your Partner To Initiate Sex
What happened to spontaneous sex?
As a couple, sex shouldn’t be limited to only night times, afternoon, midnight or early mornings before you leave for work. Quickies could as well work at any time of the day if the atmosphere is right and tight.
Don’t push your spouse away simply because it’s not midnight and your partner wants sex during the day.
You shouldn’t always wait on your spouse to show the “give it to me baby” sign either. You don’t have to be shy about it.
This is your spouse, you should have free access and reign. But of course, don’t be too overbearing with it that your spouse begins to see sex as a burden or is no longer ever interested in having sex with you.
4. Disregarding The Mood of Your Spouse
Not paying attention to the mood of your spouse when it comes to intimacy in your marriage could be a huge problem.
Do you want mechanical sex or do you prefer the real deal?
Throwing up sex every time without taking your spouse’s mood into consideration or pushing your spouse to the point where sex becomes a scary thing, will only lead to bad sex that would leave you unsatisfied at the end of the day.
Trust me, the time your spouse is angry about anything is not the time for sex.
Clear out whatever is going on first before settling down for the show down. Things work way better that way.
Don’t sleep in separate rooms or on a gigantic bed either, as this doesn’t help. Make your bed big enough for two but small enough for coziness and mutual body warmth (having a smaller bed also helps you settle matters quickly!) It’s a triple win!
Related: How To Be A Power Couple
5. Neglecting Foreplay
Foreplay and the intensity of foreplay mean different things to different couples.
For some, sex time means food time. Yay!…not at the family dining table this time however, but on some specific parts of their bodies.
Having some ice cream or whipped cream with some cherry on top being licked off your body by your partner to erupt that erotic feeling might be exciting to you but it could be gross to others.
What ever your style of fore play is, it no doubt sets the tone and mood for the body to get into the intense groove that’s about to be unleashed in your safe haven.
Foreplay is no doubt, core to having a delightful sexual experience with your spouse. Don’t neglect or overlook it.
6. Lack of Communication
Lack of communication or non guidance of your spouse to your most erotic spots could make things between the sheets a long thing.
If your spouse hasn’t been able to discover your most exciting spots and you happen to know them, don’t keep your spouse in the guessing game or make him go on a scavenger hunt.
Lovingly tell him where they are and how exactly you want it done. Nothing wrong with that.
This would go a long way in easing the tension or nervousness that may be lingering about whether or not he is taking you to…cloud nine.
Related: 12 Handy Valentine’s Day Gifts For The One You Love
7. Neglecting Personal Hygiene
Personal hygiene and taking care of your coochie is very important. Who needs to be told right?
You definitely don’t want some foul or awful smell oozing out of your VEE-JAY on a cold and romantic night…Ew!
A good shower before the bed room show could help things down there feel all clean and fresh, ready for whatever direction your sexual escapades with your spouse take you both.
A nice fragrance endears but a you-know-what turns off just as fast. Don’t be shabby or scruffy.
Smell good, be alluring.
Turn up in your sexy lingerie and set the mood for the night. And no matter what happens, ensure you are always ready for whenever action calls. Just like the Boys’ scout motto says…”Be Prepared”, you also should be.
If you need some really sexy lingerie to step up your game and blow your spouse away, you could get some here.
8. Always Saying “No”
Yes, there are times you can say “no” and not feel guilty about it -depending on who, what and the surrounding circumstances involved. However, when it comes to sexual intimacy in your marriage, incessantly saying “no” is not a good sign. It is also not good for both emotional and physical bonding between you and your spouse.
Saying “no” all the time to your spouse would only make him feel he is not good enough and may also raise the suspicion that you are probably getting your sexual satisfaction outside of the home.
9. Nagging And Complaining
If you are always nagging and complaining about how your spouse is not good enough in bed and probably also go ahead to tell your friends same thing (so they can give him a rating and tell you what you want to hear – even if he doesn’t know about it), your bond with your husband can only stick as much as water sticks to the roof of a house.
Nagging and complaining erodes love and saps out sexual energy pretty quickly.
Instead, help your spouse in ways you know you can, to make your sex life what you expect it to be.
10. Emotional Disconnect
When spouses are emotionally disconnected in marriage, physical connection will be little or totally non existent.
Building a cordial and loving relationship with your spouse is important to get the full benefits of sexual intimacy in marriage.
Disconnect from distractions to reconnect with your spouse sexually and emotionally and your home is well on its way to being a well- watered garden.
I’m glad you made it here…
Take Away
Sexual intimacy in marriage is one of the core pillars that sustains a happy home. Strive to make this sacred part of your marriage what it’s designed to be and enjoy the benefits of having a happy sex life in your marriage.
Food For Thought
Each accumulated day that passes without you having sex with your spouse, is a forever lost opportunity to the number of your “sex days” in a life time.
Now, tag you’re it!
How would you improve your sexual intimacy with your spouse in your marriage?
Would you like to take your relationship a notch ahead? Get my Free E-book : “The Love Recipe For Successful Relationships” . Click here for more marriage resources.
